We had a very happy and a very sad morning. Well... I did at least. Happy for all of us, but the sad part for just me.
You see, we have a lot of change happening rather quickly. One of the changes in particular is school starting in the fall. Not just Josh, but Jason and myself all get to go to school in August.
The Lord not only opened my heart to the option of going back to teaching full time, but he has been opening doors as well. Last week he confirmed that tugging on my heart with a phone call saying I had received the 1st grade teaching position I had applied for. It is at the awesome Christian School I used to work at before I made the decision to take a break from teaching and stay home.
Josh will be going to Kindergarten there. What's really neat is that Kinder and 1st grade are on their own side of the school and have a very similar schedule. Josh's classroom will be a few doors down from mine and I will get to see him often throughout the day. Hopefully, he will want to see me though. I am so excited for him! I feel totally at peace with sending him to this amazing school. The fact that I will be right there really helps with that too.
Jason will be going to the Preschool. It is not on the same campus, but literally down the street. We took him there this morning for a tour and to check out the classrooms. He loved it. He loved the playground, the bikes, the soccer balls and the basketball hoops. He didn't want to leave. Me on the other hand.... this is where my sad morning happened.
Our time at the school was great. I am so confident that this is such an outstanding school and Jason is going to love it. But the second we walked out that front gate and into the parking lot I lost it.
How in the world am I going to drop off my baby (okay he'll be 3 and 3 months when he starts) and just leave him there?! Josh will be right there with me... but he won't. I cried the whole drive home... 45 minutes. I am so happy for him and sad at the same time. I feel so selfish.
I knew this would have to happen if I go back to work, but I just don't know how I am going to be able to do it. Call me clingy, overbearing, protective, whatever.... and even knowing he will be in best loving, Christian atmosphere it is still hard.
I have 4 months left before school starts and I am going to enjoy every second. I know God won't give me what I can't handle. He gave me this awesome job opportunity and a top notch Christian school for our kids to attend, so I know he will give me the strength to cut a few strings and let my little boy enjoy it. But I think a mama can still shed a few tears over the fact that her babies are growing up way too fast.